[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
[ << Previous 20 ]
[ << Previous 20 ]
|Tuesday, December 9th, 2014|
Terri Luanna Mountainborne Robinson da Silva, 1974-2004
Terri Luanna Mountainborne Robinson da Silva, daughter of Spider and the late Jeanne Robinson, is now in The Undiscovered Country, occurring Friday, December 5th, 2014, at the age of 40 years, due to Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (which she described as "the most common form of breast cancer"). Waiting for their time to greet her again are her father Spider Robinson, her husband Heron da Silva, her daughter Marissa ("Miss M"), and a huge extended family of relatives and intimate friends, as well as many, many more distant friends around the world.
The announcement came from Laurie O'Neal ("Auntie L") on Terri's WordPress weblog about her life with cancer, "gracefulwomanwarrior" [ http :// gracefulwomanwarrior . com ], and on her Facebook page [ https :// www. facebook . com / pages / Gracefulwomanwarrior / 247095598695612 ] (remove spaces to access the links, of course).
With the name Luanna Mountainborne, she was depicted as dancing on Luna in 1/6 gravity in The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
by Robert A. Heinlein.
A crowdfunding request for her medical expenses is at [ https :// www . youcaring . com / medical - fundraiser / terri - s - stage - 4 - cancer - fight / 269274 ]
A crowdfunding request for her memorial is at [ http :// www . gofundme . com / icqknk ]
(Again, remove spaces to access the links.)
This information comes from openly accessible web pages and public announcements, no confidences are being violated. Current Mood: melancholy
|Tuesday, April 30th, 2013|
CEPT/Sending Up A Flare
Okay, I'm going to bring this to the LJ hive-mind, because I can't think where else to bring it. I don't know if anyone here will have any ideas for me, or anything else for that matter, but I need to tell my story on the off-chance someone does.( Read more...Collapse )
For those who don't know, my marriage ended in the spring of 2011, not long after my father entered a nursing home once his mental and physical needs outstripped the ability to meet them at home. I'd taken four years off from the workforce to care for him, with my then-husband's blessing and help. However, the stress had proven a bit much, and we'd realized that our differing styles of dealing with it made us Not A Good Match. We had no kids, and the split was an amicable and mutual decision. My ex-husband and I remain good friends. However, over is over, and we've been trying to move ahead with our individual lives.
Current Mood: scared
I'm tired. I'm desperate. I'm depressed. And I'm asking for help, be that prayer, ideas or anything else. Frankly, there's a side of me that thinks if my ex's car's crappy steering went out on me during my commute and sent me into a fatal wreck, at least I'd have the relief of No Longer Having To Try… and that kind of thinking is so far out of character for me that it isn’t even funny.
|Tuesday, April 24th, 2012|
...for my best-of-friends Betty, who's now in the ICU with severe pneumonia and a probable systemic infection. The former is bad enough, but the latter is just plain scary. crossposted to my LJ, and to my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever. Current Mood: extremely worried
|Friday, December 23rd, 2011|
A song that reminds me....
Been listening to the Trans Siberian Orchestra's "Old City Bar"...the lyrics remind me of Callahan's...
|Sunday, February 20th, 2011|
|Friday, October 22nd, 2010|
Mike was used to people in his bar celebrating Hallowe'en early, so when he saw the cute blue-eyed brunette coasting in, dressed like Mother Superior, he hardly batted an eye. "That looks like a good habit to get into," he said with a wink.
She used the little brakes on the toes of her skates to stop before the bar. "The usual, good sir."
He opened and poured the bottle of domestic beer for her. "This one is on me, Elbie. For the life of me, I can't imagine what you could be."
She took a sip and grinned. "I thought a man with the last name of Callahan would know a Holy Roller when he saw one."
She then ducked, hoping her fellow patrons would respect a (temporary) woman of the cloth enough to avoid the usual pun shrapnel...
|Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010|
Walking to the line
As I glumly walk through the doors and to the line, I take a moment to take a breath, with the exhalation, I go to the bar and wordlessly collect a drink. I contemplate emptying the glass, tossing it or staring at it endlessly until it spelled out the answer to all the troubles of the world. I walk back to the line still staring at the bottom of the glass container. I look up, seeing the flames, startled back to life, having my reality shifted from the serenity of un-rippled surface to the glowing chaos that can be even the most contained fire. Steeling myself as speaking in public is not a traditional habit or even a fond pass-time, and found my shoulders relax. "To old friends turned bitter shades of themselves, and the tragedies that make them come back to your mind." Drank deeply, and threw the recepticle.
**Crash** Current Mood: contemplative
|Tuesday, July 20th, 2010|
The girl with the long hair gets out of her chair and walks slowly to the chalk line. "Say when," she says, and only stops when someone in the crowd has called out 'There!' Then she speaks.
You're going to have to forgive me for this one; I'm like the McGonagall, you know; I can talk the ears off a cornfield. Fitting, seeing where I'm from. Anyway." She pauses, and she very well might be steeling herself, by the frown she's directing at the floor. "It'll be seven years this September the sixth."
" If I tried to explain just what happened that day in 2003, I'd be here all night, and I'd get into aspects of a few things that most people probably don't care about or want to know. Needless to say I was eighteen, I'd just started college, I was in the closet so far that if I'd taken one more step back I'd have hit Narnia, and I was a tremendous geek. Still am that, but that's obvious enough. Anyway. I found a second home that night, even though I didn't know it at the time. Call me crazy for calling a specific corner of the Internet home, and maybe you're right. I haven't claimed to be entirely normal in the head for years. It was, though. Just about everyone I got to know there, I liked. Heck, *minutes* after I signed in, I had a message from someone that--well, if I use a phrase like 'changed my life' I'll be accused of one mighty cliche, but it really did. I need to thank Catherine properly for that one of these days, for what she said, for everything she started."
"That place was special. I mean, I met three of my closest friends there, and that probably makes me pretty damn sad, having three of my best friends online. I've never met them. Our characters were sisters. By different parents, sure, but they never cared. I met about a hundred friends there, and over the years I lost a few. I don't know where Xirri is; to this day I'm scared that his heart gave out on him and he died, and we never knew it. I don't know where Lee is either, and I hope to God she just got insanely, happily busy with the child she was the surrogate to, and that nothing worse hit her. Chris and I just kind of fell apart, after I got done dealing with my depression through the character I played and dropping all my insecurities in his lap. Getting medicated helps, or at least it did for me. Sure, there were people I didn't like, people I made a bad impression on, and even today I wish I could apologize for being terrible to a few. God, there's one especially; if I see him anywhere now, I don't dare get anywhere near him. I'm afraid he thinks I'm... I don't know. A stalker, or a little girl with an obsessive crush, or... something. but that's still me being insecure. I do wish I could apologize to a handful of people, though. They met me when I was growing up, and pretty immature, and figuring out that my mental health issues really did exist, and just so damn happy to have friends who didn't care what I was that I sort of... let myself go and bounced all over. I was so happy. that place felt like coming home for all the right reasons. It got so that I had an image in my mind of what it looked like, and a whole *sense* of it, and every little detail just felt right. I mean the atmosphere, the people, just the whole idea of the place was right."
"I won't go into how incredible Kiri was--is, she still exists, and she'll never stop existing. I'm still amazed at just how well the people who wrote that dragon pegged me, though. How the hell they knew I was as big a space enthusiast as I am, I'll never know, but God, Kirienth. I played my character like I felt at the time; I was bouncing off the walls in the game. I didn't know shy, not in that setting, and at first I was disappointed that Kirienth wasn't just as vivacious as Alina was. I got over that in a hurry, believe me. I just feel sorry now that I didn't do Kirienth justice back then. She's incredible. That whole place was incredible."
"I was so closeted when I started. I grew up Lutheran, and small town Midwestern, and convinced that I was going to hell, that anyone who wasn't straight as the proverbial arrow was going to hell. I know I'm going to sound crazy for saying this, that a made-up setting based on someone's novel series could help with something like that, but it did. spending time there, playing a character living in a corner of a world where loving whoever wasn't wrong and wasn't frowned on at all, helped me in the real world. It helped me sort out that it wasn't so wrong to be who I was, to swing both ways and love who I did - and that's general as well as specific. Sure, it still took getting thoroughly plastered for me to confess it for the first time, and then six more months of some pretty damn vehement denial, but if it weren't for the weyr, I might never have said it at all. I owe that place a pretty big chunk of my adjustment, really."
"I was there all through college. That place was a constant when classes sucked, and when blindness sucked, and when I tried going off meds over Christmas, and when I ran out of the same one week and just about fell apart, and when I came out about being bi, and when I came out about loving her. I had friends who didn't care if I was a little weird, and a little loud, and a little butch and a little femme, and blind and bitchy and so damn high on having a place where people liked me that I never shut up. I mean, it wasn't all perfect, I sure as hell wasn't, but... it was home. I called it that, and other people called it that, and when we did nobody laughed or at least, nobody meant it."
"That place and those people saw me graduate, saw me bouncing off the walls the morning of the ceremony, congratulated the hell out of me when I came home. That place saw me get my first job, and the people did the same thing that time, too. That place and everybody there saw me through one hell of a long summer; there's a pun there, but I'll maybe make it later. Why I didn't spend more time there when I was in Colorado, I don't entirely know. Maybe I just didn't have the muse, I was so caught up with everything else. Half the time all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and put earplugs in my ears at the end of the day, my meds weren't doing a thing, and I was frakking desperate to run away, or maybe hide in the closet. I literally fantasized about hiding in mine. I honestly think that if I'd stayed longer than Labor Day, I'd have self-destructed entirely and wound up in a Denver psych ward somewhere. I guess I just didn't have it in me to hang around Southern while I was out in Colorado. I still feel guilty about it though; I think maybe if I'd been around more, things wouldn't have gone quiet, and if things hadn't gone quiet, maybe I wouldn't be saying all this now. It was still there when I got home and started putting myself back together, though, and I'm grateful for that."
"I knew that it was the beginning of the end, that summer. I just refused to believe it until I absolutely had to. I wasn't ready to give it up--hell, I'm still not ready to give it up. Some of us tried a couple times, tried to get everything back together--and if this has stopped making sense to anyone, I'm sorry. I admit I wasn't the best at it; like I said before, that place saw me grow up. I'd matured over six years. I wasn't quite so hyper anymore. I was still happy, but playing such a bouncy character wasn't as effortless as it had been. I guess it showed. Things were livelier for a while, but they always went quiet again, and... and now it's official."
"That weyr is always going to be a part of me. My original character is always going to be in my life, and so is her dragon. I play that character's younger daughter now, one universe over, and all the time I'm imagining 'okay, how would this translate to the *right* universe, the one with our version of Southern in it?' The people who played the three characters mine was everything-but-blood sisters with are still in my life too. they're three amazing friends of mine, and I hope to God that doesn't change."
"My real life keeps moving: That first job is long gone, and I'm on my second. Loving it, by the way. I'm out, and I'm living in the big city, and if anyone from Southern is reading this, yes, I do still drink cherry soda, and once in a while I still forget I've left a bottle of something in the freezer and it explodes. I haven't got a cat yet, but that's a matter of time, and the fluffy sniffy labbydog is almost ten years old and still going strong. Honestly, Southern. I'm a much more well-adjusted, much happier person thanks to all of you. I might even be a little better person. I hope so."
"I'm going to miss you all - your characters, your atmosphere, everything - like *mad*. I already do. Call me corny, call me a nutter, call me in need of some serious help, but I love you. There isn't ever going to be another place quite like you, or people quite like you, ever. You're in a class by yourself. That's a constant in my universe, you know."
She shuts up for a second, just long enough to raise her glass to shoulder height. "I give you," she says, and now she's using a carrying voice appropriate to toasting a departed knight, "Southern Weyr!"
Her whole drink goes down in one, and that's pretty unusual in itself. She doesn't ask if she's going to miss the fireplace before she flings her glass, and that's even moreso. When it hits, it does so hard enough to make the occupants of nearby tables glad the fireplace is designed not to throw shards.
She's sobbing as she steps back, and she isn't bothering to hide or explain it.
On a Rocky Anniversary
walks in, and lays an odd-looking rock on the bar. Mike looks at him quizzically, and davidkevin
says "I have it on good authority this is 4.5 billion years old. That ought to be worth a buck, right?" Mike shrugs, takes the rock, puts it in a corner of the register, and builds the usual. davidkevin
steps to the line:
"Happy Lunar Landing Day, everybody!" ***crash*** Current Mood: cheerful
|Wednesday, June 30th, 2010|
|Saturday, June 12th, 2010|
A friend just posted this elsewhere:Please pray for my 21 year old nephew Shannon who is in the trauma unit at University in SA. He was in a terrible motorcycle accident at 11 PM last night. He was the only one hurt (besides his parents and sisters who are hurting pretty badly from grief). He has multiple injuries, internal and external. He strongly believes in the power of prayer, so if you have some room in your prayers, please mention him.
|Monday, May 31st, 2010|
steps in walking ramrod straight, instead of his usual casual manner. He lays his dollar on the bar, accepts his usual, then marches quietly to the line. He stands at attention, drink in his one hand, waiting for the chatter to break for a moment.
"My father's body is buried at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery.
"Just his body. Once a Marine, always a Marine."
He drinks it in a gulp. *** CRASH *** Current Mood: proud
eanne Robinson left this life at about 4:45 Sunday afternoon, a gentle smile on her face. Her departure was quite peaceful and she was in no pain at all.
Because her Palliative Care doctor, Paul Sugar, was able to forecast her passing almost to the hour, her daughter Terri, son-in-law Heron and granddaughter Marisa flew back from NYC just in time, and were with me at her side when Jeanne died; and her mother Dorothy and sister Laurie arrived from Massachusetts only a couple of hours later, after Terri had had time to expertly make Jeanne look better than she had for days. Zen priests Michael and Kate Newton were also present per Jeanne’s wishes, as were our oldest friends in this part of the world, Greg McKinnon, Anya Coveney-Hughes and Stevie McDowell. Over the next few hours more sangha buddies arrived, and chanting of the Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra was done. Her body was then bathed and dressed in her hand-sewn rakasu as per Zen tradition.
In accordance with her wishes she will be cremated. Half her ashes will be scattered off this coast, and half will be taken back to her childhood home, Cape Cod, so that her East Coast family will have a place to go and visit her. Current Mood: heartsick
Yesterday Spider's wonderful wife and co-author Jeanne passed away peacefully with her family, friends, and sangha at her side.
Blessings on your journey, Jeanne.
|Monday, May 10th, 2010|
Logical order: It Sometimes Helps
Re-reading the Callahan books in order for once provided a few nice surprises, like all second-readings should. I had missed that the crew from 'Lady Slings The Booze' had been part of the bus caravan to make to make it down to Key West in 'Callahan's Key'.
|Tuesday, April 20th, 2010|
This is silly, but...
I have a chance to visit Key West. I'm not sure I can get my hands on a copy of Callahan's Key between now and then; does anyone happen to know the various places mentioned in the book (or have a handy copy)? I'm just wondering how many of the references actually exist and think it might be fun to swing by them if they do.
Silly. Yes. But reading CK has made me want to go to Key West in the first place, so...
ETA: Thanks for the responses so far, I appreciate them! Oops, I wasn't clear enough. I'm only going to be on Key West itself, with no opportunity to visit any of the other keys (or S FL).
I remember the description of the street performers in the plaza at sunset (which I can find in info about Key West, and which sounds wonderful--but tragically, I will not be there at sunset. Boo.), a bar or restaurant they visited after arriving, and some touristy street (with a note that it's turned into, IIRC, a row of T-shirt vendors). I can't remember any names, though, or if there were other vivid descriptions worth exploring.
|Thursday, April 8th, 2010|
Stands and Salutes
This kind of heroism leaves me in tears. Lt. Robert Heinlein and Pvt. Rodger Young are in the stands saluting as he passes in review.http://bit.ly/cWs5zU
I am proud to say that my father and uncle are Marines. Current Mood: touched
|Tuesday, April 6th, 2010|
|Thursday, March 18th, 2010|
Spring is here
I now know Spring is officially here. I've just seen the two primary signs in Wisconsin; my first robin and my first garage sale sign. Current Mood: amused
|Saturday, March 13th, 2010|
Healing, after Half a Century
told me a story years ago, how she had always cried every afternoon as a little girl, because Miss Lois of KTVI's version of Romper Room
never, ever, saw little "Nila" in her Magic Mirror at the end of the program. With child's logic, nilajean
felt unloved that the Magic worked for every other boy and girl but not for her. Eventually she grew past the age for Romper Room
, but she never forgot the results of her unusual first name.
KTVI tweeted this morning that they were going to have Miss Lois on the morning news for an interview. I made some frantic calls to the station (as their understaffed weekend newsroom producer wouldn't pick up but let the 'phone go to recording and I had to keep re-calling, but after I explained why I was calling, she took our telephone number and said she would try to get it to Miss Lois.
Miss Lois called, bless her heart, and said she still had her Magic Mirror with her and could now see Nila, even though fifty years had passed. Always a kind woman who loved children, she understood how a little girl with an unusual name would feel passed over, and then as adults we had a delightful discussion about how much we all missed the show. It was one of the sweetest conversations I have ever had.
and I got to explain to our boys, born far too late for Romper Room
, about Do Being a Do-Bee and Don't Being a Don't-Bee, the "Bend & Stretch" song, and the non-sectarian prayer Miss Lois and the children always said before their snack time. ("God is Great, God is Good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen.")
I haven't seen nilajean
with this big a smile in years, as the weight of all that remembered pain melted away. Bless you, Miss Lois. We still love you. Current Mood: happy